Warning: Rated “S” for Sappy. There is a sickening amount of romanticizing about the loose zebra in question. Also, Big Z’s owner is probably a great person who deserves his/her zebra back. Forgive me.
You’ll be forgiven for not knowing about Big Z, the fourth and last escaped zebra currently at-large in Washington state. The story is just now teetering on the verge of national news with a handful of generic weekly updates thus far. I’ve included a few here for reference if you need to brought up to speed from USA Today and The New York Times. Local resident Bob Antone even wrote a song about the zebras, proudly declaring “Eat your heart out, A.I.!” in the song description. The human spirit is alive and well. Rock on, Bob.
The zebras were in route to Montana in their owner’s trailer when they escaped near North Bend, Washington, a small town on the western foothills of the Cascade Mountain range. The place is about equidistant between Seattle to the west and Snoqualmie Pass to the east. Three zebras—including a foal—were rounded up relatively quickly, but a rogue stallion has eluded capture for the last week or so.
What’s next for Big Z? To the west is the seaside urban jungle, to the east lies the wild mountains which should be relatively accessible thanks to our warm spring. Beware, Big Z, for you escape at a time where conservation rewinding efforts have brought wolves and grizzly bears to these lands for the first time in generations. As always, the elk (and human) hunting mountain lions roam in their thousands. Obviously the speeding cars of the road are more deadly than all these predators combined.
It’s worth reflecting upon what a zebra is, essentially a large striped donkey with just as much (if not more) piss n’ vinegar. Many an African lion’s jaw has been broken or shoulder dislocated from a zebra’s rear kick, the fierce beast’s war whoop echoing from bared equine snarl. While smaller than the typical domesticated horse, it’s probably more fair to compare it to a wild horse that’s not benefitted from human selective breeding. On this score it’s about the same if not a bit larger. Zebras have never been domesticated because they are far too aggressive, a necessary disposition on the blood soaked Serengeti.
Most people know that the zebra’s stripes are a form of camouflage—not with the environment, but within a herd of fellow zebras to foil predators that are largely colorblind. When considering this zebra trait, there is something profoundly absurd about a lone Zebra in a foreign land. The black and white stripes in a misty Pacific Northwest forest stick out like a flashing light.
Yet, Big Z runs, thus far uncatchable by the combined efforts of humankind. It is impossible to really get inside the mind of an animal—or even a fellow person for that matter—but it seems clear that Big Z is purposefully avoiding humans at this juncture. Has he departed from the I-90 corridor for the forests? Would he be avoidant of elevation, drawn to it, or ambivalent? Snowcapped summits upon which only mountain goats and marmots dare dwell await.
Climate-wise, if Big Z can make it eastward over the mountains he will be much more comfortable in his natural element of dry, open plains. Such lands are ideal for a wild horse and most likely a wayward zebra. Although unlikely, imagine if Big Z erred to the south, all the way to the Steens Mountains and Kiger Gorge of Southeastern Oregon. The region on the edge of the Alvord Desert is famous for its Kiger mustangs, a unique population of wild horses that trace their lineage directly to escaped Spanish warhorses of the 15th/16th centuries. If you are a fan of Disney’s Spirit movie, you’ll be familiar with their classic Wild West America look.
What’s more, some Kiger mustangs even spot zebra-like stripes on their hind legs. What does this mean evolutionarily? I’ve heard of how the ears of domesticated foxes start to bend like a dog’s, an interesting physical trait that may be bound to genes of domesticated canines. Are stripes a similar related trait to a certain wildness in equines? I plead ignorance as not an evolutionary biologist, just musing.
What’s more, zebras can breed with horses to produce a hybrid called a zorse. Like all known horse hybrids, these are healthy but sterile animals. Big Z could have a prolific love life with wild mares, his aggressive zebra disposition an asset as a stallion establishing his herd.
All this is to say that Big Z has a narrow, but not zero, percent chance to join zebra-like companions in an Africa-like wild American environment. We could have a generation of wild zorses on the loose. Those stripes may help blend in with a herd after all.
But the shot at such a life is entirely on Big Z. To run swiftly and remain clever, to follow his senses and adapt to a strange world. To avoid the grizzlies and wolves and cougars and automobiles. The Casacades will need to be conquered, the hundreds of miles of barbwired rangeland to tread. The raging Columbia River will be forded. Hunting you always will be the state patrol cars and the smartphone wielding laypeople eager to blow your cover. Maybe even helicopters. Big Z, you are living out the plot of the Robert Redford movie Electric Horseman—yet you, striped absurdity, have no handsome seasoned cowboy to guide you.
Run, Big Z! Perhaps the Kiger Gorge will appear to you in a zebra dream (as you sleep standing up and soaking wet) in the Cascades foothills after a long day of evading the fuzz. Lion kicker. Stiff maned stallion. Striped biter. This run is your destiny. We are watching. Cue DragonForce outro.
Great story. Too bad he didn't escape by boat!
I'm rooting for Big Z.